TroubleMade?
by dfcfanfics
Summary: A one-shot of pure crack. How the leaked first half of the Troublemaker transcript really SHOULD end... Sometimes... oblivious is better.


MiracuCrack #Q5: Trouble...Made

(Read the transcript that was shared at San Diego Comic-Con for the first half of Troublemaker, or none of this will make any sense. Then continue.)

* * *

Marinette held her head in her hands, stunned. She'd stopped the broadcast, but the damage was already done. Jagged Stone had shown the world her bedroom, her wall of pictures of Adrien, and told everyone about her crush on Adrien on live TV.

Now Adrien _knew_ about her crush on him, the one she'd never found a way to tell him about...

 _Think, Marinette. No, don't think! Act! It's your only possible way out of this nightmare._

Marinette pulled out her phone and called Adrien, her pulse racing. _Please answer, Adrien. We need to talk, NOW._

Adrien answered, not sounding quite like himself. "Marinette?" he said. "My friend?"

"Yeah, it's Marinette... I need to know, Adrien. _Did you watch that show with Jagged Stone?"_ she asked, frantically.

"Jagged Stone... TV show... pictures of me... Marinette..."

 _Lovely. Well, there's no avoiding it now._ "Are... you all right, Adrien?" Marinette asked. "You sound... strange."

"Strange? What could be strange, my good friend, Marinette?" replied Adrien, absently.

"Oh... kay. Adrien, we need to talk. Can I meet you somewhere? Right now?"

"Somewhere?" he repeated.

"Yeah, somewhere... how about the front steps of the school? Where you gave me that umbrella that day?"

"Front steps. Sure."

"Adrien... meet me there as soon as you can," Marinette said. "I'll be waiting."

She hung up the phone, then flew downstairs and took off running for the school.

* * *

Gabriel Agreste heard his door open unexpectedly and turned around in a blind rage. "NATHALIE! Haven't I told you never to disturb me while I am..." he barked, then stopped when he saw the look on her face. She was white as a ghost.

"...What has happened?" he asked.

"The baker girl... her crush on Adrien just got revealed. On live TV. That Adrien was watching." She gulped. "Project: Adrien is... awakening."

"You _must_ be joking," Gabriel muttered. Her expression said otherwise.

"QUICKLY!" he shouted, flying into a blur of motion. "We must act now to contain... wait. Where IS Adrien?"

"He, um... left via the window, we think. It's hanging wide open, and he's gone," stammered Nathalie. "We _really_ should have locked that window by now."

The room was silent for several seconds.

* * *

Marinette tried to control her breathing as she sat on the steps, waiting for her beloved to arrive. _Be cool, Marinette. Maybe he'll respond well. Maybe he's just been waiting for this all along. Maybe everything hasn't just been ruined._

She saw a familiar blonde figure running down the street, and her heart raced even more. Adrien dashed up the stairs, only slightly out of breath, and sat at Marinette's side.

"...Marinette?" he asked. "My best friend, Marinette? What is... happening?"

"Adrien, um..." She felt the familiar rush of blood to her face, her tongue becoming a pretzel, her brain seizing up. Mentally, Marinette barked orders at her bodily functions - _NO! You will NOT screw this up. THIS TIME I'll say what I need to say._

"So, you saw my bedroom on TV, and all those pictures of you on my wall, right?" Marinette asked Adrien. "I really need to know that for sure."

"I... did," Adrien replied.

"You... understand why they're there, right?" she breathed. "What those pictures mean?"

"Well... yeah! It means... that you're a really good friend! My best friend!" smiled Adrien, without an ounce of guile.

She sighed. "No, Adrien. I mean, yes, you ARE my good friend and I hope that'll never change. But... Adrien, I'm in love with you." _AAAAAAAAAGH I AM SAYING THIS!_

He blinked. Then blinked again. His eyes were the size of softballs.

"...Love?"

"I've been in love with you since the second day I knew you, Adrien. I've been trying to tell you ever since. I'm completely yours... if you'd want me," Marinette breathed, her brain screaming. _Please, please, please don't hurt me, Adrien. You don't have to love me back, but at least don't laugh. Tell me that I didn't just ruin everything._

Adrien's reaction was... strangely blank. He sat back slightly, his face still, visibly processing this huge revelation. He remained motionless.

"Adrien?" Marinette asked. She waved a hand in front of his eyes, with no reaction. "Are you all right, Adrien?"

The stillness was broken by Adrien's phone ringing. She took it from his hand when he made no move to answer it, and saw that it was his father calling.

Gingerly, she pushed the button to answer it and held it to her ear. "Hello?" she said, timidly.

* * *

A familiar voice, with unfamiliar emotion behind it, responded to her. "HELLO! Is this... is this Miss Dupain-Cheng speaking? This is Adrien's father."

"H-hello, Mr. Agreste. Yes, this is Marinette," she said.

"Is Adrien with you now?" he barked.

"Yes, he's right next to me. He's... kind of stunned."

She heard him breathe a sigh of guarded relief. "Thank goodness. If he remains uncontained, things could... WHERE are you now?"

"We're on the steps of the... wait! What is going on here, Mr. Agreste?" asked Marinette, a little wary. "What do you mean by 'uncontained'?"

"Marinette. This is VERY IMPORTANT. What did you say to him just now?" Gabriel asked her. "Did you say anything that could... destabilize his emotional state?"

"I... I told him that I loved him, Mr. Agreste," she said, swallowing hard. "After what was on TV this morning, there was no point in hiding it any more."

"NO! This is... disastrous," Gabriel groaned. "Stay there. My people will be there as soon as possible to-"

"DISASTROUS?" gaped Marinette. "Look, Mr. Agreste, I know that I'm not... rich, or famous, or a model or anything, but your son means the world to me. I love him, and I won't have you implying that I'm not suitable for him..."

In the background, she heard Adrien murmur, "...she loves me?" quietly.

"Quite the contrary," snapped Gabriel. "You are his ideal and intended mate. But this is all FAR too soon!"

"...what?"

* * *

Gabriel sighed. "Listen closely, Miss Dupain-Cheng. What I am about to tell you is highly secret information, on a need-to-know basis, but I have no choice now..."

"...Okay?" managed Marinette.

"The boy you know as Adrien... he is part of a sixty-five-generation breeding program, designed to produce a new and superhuman life form. A savior to lead humanity to a new golden age. Adrien's brain is many orders of magnitude beyond anything ever seen on this planet."

"..."

"Adrien is the sixty-fourth generation, the penultimate male. He is very close to being the desired end product, but not genetically capable of handling the power himself. YOU are his intended mate... his wife, to put it more gently... and your children will rule galaxies."

"His WIFE? Our CHILDREN? Mr. Agreste... are YOU feeling all right?" she asked, giving her phone a strange look. "You're not making any sense at all..."

"LISTEN, Marinette." She heard urgency in his voice that made her stop and consider this madness. "Why do you THINK we had him locked away and homeschooled for so many years? Why do you THINK we've controlled whom he can interact with? Training him in so many disciplines? Teaching him to keep his emotions locked down and his motives pure? We were preparing him for you, but we didn't anticipate that he'd meet you for another five years."

"Marinette... loves... me..." she heard Adrien murmur again, shaking her out of her current state.

"I don't know if this is some kind of sick joke..." Marinette said, "but if you think that I'm believing any of this..."

"WHATEVER YOU DO," shouted Gabriel, "you CANNOT tell him that you are Ladybug. Or that you know he is Chat Noir. He cannot have any additional emotional shocks."

* * *

THAT stopped Marinette in her tracks. "Wh... what are you talking about? I..."

"Yes, yes, Marinette. You have a talking Beanie Baby in your purse that floats around and gives you superpowers. I have one, too. And so does he. Half of Paris knows this," Gabriel blurted out.

"...Hawkmoth?" she stammered.

"Yes, Hawkmoth. You nearly guessed it once before. But that's not important now..."

"Hawkmoth... How... how did you KNOW that I'm really Ladybug?" she pleaded.

"Give me a little credit, Marinette," he laughed. "Do you really think that 99% of Paris is blind? It's around 35% to 40%, at most. We've been playing along because of how VITAL it is to keep Adrien's mental state stable. What is Adrien doing right now?"

"I, um... he's sitting quite still. He's... glowing, a little bit?" worried Marinette. "Why are his eyes glowing?"

Gabriel was silent for several seconds. "...He just heard you say out loud that you're really Ladybug, didn't he?" he sighed.

"MARINETTE... is LADYBUG?" Adrien repeated in a louder voice. "FATHER... IS HAWKMOTH? LADYBUG... LOVES ME?"

"What should I do?" begged Marinette. "Tell me! What is happening to Adrien? Should I -"

"If he's glowing, it's too late," Gabriel said, in a resigned tone. "May he have mercy on us all."

"WHY? What is... Adrien? What are you doing..." he heard her say, and then the phone connection cut off.

* * *

Adrien stood, slowly. He reached his hand out to Marinette, and she took it, as much out of reflex as anything.

"Adrien?" she whispered. "What is happening to you... OH!"

He rose slowly into the air, floating before her, the glow around him intensifying. Tendrils of light crackled around him, spreading to nearby people, cars, buildings, anything they could reach. Quickly, all of Paris seemed alight.

"ADRIEN?" Marinette shouted. "ARE YOU STILL IN THERE, ADRIEN?"

"I... have awakened," he said in a strange voice, turning to her. "I will remake this world. For you, Marinette. For us."

The glow became brighter, brighter, brighter still, until Marinette could barely look at him. "ADRIEN!" she screamed.

"Love... you... Bugaboo..." a voice intoned, followed by an unimaginably bright flash... and, suddenly he was gone.

* * *

Marinette collapsed on the steps, beyond the concept of rational thought. _ADRIEN! WHAT JUST... ADRIEN!? WHERE ARE YOU?_

Her phone buzzed at her. At the same time, everyone else's phone also sprang to life. Every television, every computer monitor, every radio, every method of communication imaginable.

A simple message appeared, then repeated itself endlessly, one which the world found itself compelled to adopt as its new guiding mantra:

 **RADIANT**

 **CAREFREE**

 **DREAMY**

 **WE ARE ADRIEN**


End file.
